So much of Eid and life

Eid this year is the most tiring one compared to the previous years. And it turns out weirdly when most of the people i knew is not well during the eve. Somehow, nothing much to share, i am glad that i manage to gather with my families and close friends. In shaa Allah i still breathing for next year celebration, with my fiance' or husband perhaps? Aherherher

For the last previous weeks i have been tested with a greatest test among all. And i realized that i had so much more to learn to prepare and to achieve. I finally come to a conclusion that i actually a failure at the current moment. My thesis for master is a trash and well i seems like lost track on everything. I do nothing everyday. I thought i think but actually i also don't have any idea on what is on my mind. Alhamdulillah i am sorted out a bit now.

Sometimes this kind of test teaches us to be more wise and realize on things that we seldom overlooked. 

What doesn't kill you make you stronger. I am grateful cause i finally come to my sense now. If this are called as sense, i hope i can remain this way for long. Hopefully whatever pain that i have now will diminish over time. Oh, this guilt also must go within it. Gotta stand for myself too. 

As for now, lets focusing on what i want to achieve in life. 

x.o.x.o

Marriage, No?

Nowadays, I don't feel like getting married. Like really not going to get married, forever.

We might think that marriage is something sacred, something that really true and something forever. 

But I don't know, it is either I just see it now or people nowadays are really out of control. Divorce are all over the newspaper - especially for the famous people (not included random people). Yeah, as much as people get married, there are some groups of married people are in turmoil - and they ended up by divorce. I still don't think it is normal.

I still loathe to see married people being all lovey dovey with other person besides of their spouse. I mean like, where is the loyalty? Where is the sacred of the marriage? Where is the vow of taking care of each other? Where all the love that previously that exist between them - gone?

Is there someone or something that we can put the blame to if ever it is happening?

Love is weird. How come we can fall in love over and over again with different people but we can't fix the love that used to be there all along but somehow it gone nowhere as it is an everyday routine.

I think marriage is a responsibility. But to get married with someone you love - it is a bless.

So it is a lifetime responsibility. As for women, yes we need to prepare the needs of the husband. Make sure things are in place and be a understanding companion when the husband had a rough day working. Yet, after years of being a wife - a mom - some women forgets to take care of themselves. They wear improper clothes, had a bad hair day everyday and being the messy self of herself when they're at home. Which somehow, the husband will only see the crapiest part of us - which it may lead to had an attraction to another woman. So yeah, how busy we are - women must take care of our appearance.

For men, I don't want to be a judgmental but I expect them to understand that we women work hard to provide the best for home. If you have a loyal wife - good cook - manage to take care of your children - appreciate them more. It is easy to find a companion but it is hard to find a soulmate - the one that sacrifice their everything to a family. 

No one is good in that except your wife/mother. If you didn't believe it, look at your mother. How much she had gone through for the family. 

Getting married is ain't easy. Even when I look at my parent and see how the differences between them - which I can't put myself in that condition yet. I mean, give and take like for 27 years? And what if I need to deal with rejection over and over again? Emm, the fact that possibility of arguing but still ended up need to sleep next to him. Errr another consideration. 

But I want baby! Why Keek have so much of cute babies there?! I really want one. But the fact that kids growing up and another responsibility of coloring a person - as it is a parental job - well, i put an excuse to that too. 

Argh. I hate growing up!

So the moral of this entry is, marriage is ain't easy. And once you get married, please make it work till you die. People nowadays easily giving up with love, they don't know what is the definition of fixing anymore - even if they are a surgeon or an engineer. (as surgeon work with healing body organ and engineer good at fixing things, LOL)

Till then, Assalammualaikum. 

p.s: I am getting older and that is why my entry is getting bored. Ergh.

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Some may be lucky in love, some it is just so hard like they want to give up.

It is rezeki. Like some may be rich, some may be so-so and some is poor. I believe that God is fair in everything. You might be lucky in your career but messed up with your love life. Or you might have a very good relationship with family and friends but you found yourself hard to juggling with studies. It is just the matter of time that we will realize that things are actually fair to all people. And if we see perfection in a person, it is may be they are good at embrace positiveness in their life and God helps them to hide the weaknesses in them. Nothing is ever perfect accept Him. 

I can't be thankful enough cause I can see I am dealing well with life now. Or maybe the workloads are getting heavier and I just don't want to give a damn anymore. Decided to stay at hostel even how scary this place can be is never a mistake (or not for now). 

- I rarely have a bump with my floormates 

- The aisle is dead spooky actually

- I think there is a small forest near to the toilet which makes it feels eerie if I need to go to the toilet middle of the night

- I saw goat, chicken and boar near to that small forest

Wait, is it a forest? :/

- Oh, I am living at the ground floor and I don't like it as the security level is low compared to other levels

- My window view is a big box of water tank - which I once imagined a 'girl' will be as same high as that box standing there - and I never open the curtain during the night eversince

Well, each time there is someone sending me back to my block they will ask, why so far. But believe me this place is so quiet like you can sleep the whole day without any disturbance, unless if the weather is F hot. I don't know why, but I woke up just now because I'm sweating and it is dead hot!

Well, perfection is never going to be a human right. To boast on what you have is not a good idea cause He borrowed this life and everything that we have temporarily so appreciate each of it and be grateful.

Till next time. x.o.x.o

p.s: If life gives you hardship, be hardcore to deal with it.