25 December 2008

Owh my!

This entry is published after I’ve think about 10 minutes?


Seriously, I am not in a good mood. Yes, again.

Let me say, I did trust something. Maybe I do believe something I want to believe. Like children who believe that santa does exist but the actual thing, there is not santa.
But surprisingly, what I do believe is not true. And more surprisingly, the trust that I’ve made is broken. Well, if you did know how hard to gain a trust compared to broken it. Btw, I am not losing something expensive or something that I should treasure or what. But I do feel stupid. Maybe I’m thinking too much or what. But what the hell with this feeling?

I am sick of it. I tried so hard to get rid of it. Feeling guilty, jealous and have all those negative feelings. Better for me to be plain-shy-nerdy geek or acting like crazy-sarcastic-heartless bitch. Both different character but at least I have a path to go.

If I choose to be plain-shy-nerdy geek – whatever they said, whatever happening. I will just shut my mouth and let it the thing goes by without any statement or I won’t defense myself. And surely I’ll cut my social time so I won’t easily get contacted by those people that really makes me feel this way. Just imagine ugly Betty in me.

But if I choose to be crazy-sarcastic-heartless bitch – why bitch? If I’m being that way surely they would called me bitch. HAHA. And I will said, whatever loser! You’re not at my place. This will be a vice versa from the geek. I will defense myself with my sarcastic words. Well, i won’t take those things seriously. Let assuming me as Regina George from Mean Girls movie.

Both are a different character. But it is a way for me to defense myself. Defending from being fool again by all these feeling.


Zarpeno said...

adeh mcm kechiwa ja ayat last..hehhe

Diana said...

macam eh?
yana ni same je ngan adi.
kekdg mcm emo sikit.


Maria said...

hey, jgn susah hati sgt k..
all negative charged ions will go to u when u let it, so u kena neutral kan by being positive.
be around things or ppl dat gives u dat feeling. maybe u should watch Yes Man. hehe!
hang in there k yana..
talk it out.
makes u feel better

the girl said...

yana yana yana! please do take care of urself. i saaaayannggg u gila! namo sedey sedey yea?

the girl said...

yana yana yana! please do take care of urself. i saaaayannggg u gila! namo sedey sedey yea?