25 December 2008

Owh my!

This entry is published after I’ve think about 10 minutes?

HAHA.

Seriously, I am not in a good mood. Yes, again.

Let me say, I did trust something. Maybe I do believe something I want to believe. Like children who believe that santa does exist but the actual thing, there is not santa.
But surprisingly, what I do believe is not true. And more surprisingly, the trust that I’ve made is broken. Well, if you did know how hard to gain a trust compared to broken it. Btw, I am not losing something expensive or something that I should treasure or what. But I do feel stupid. Maybe I’m thinking too much or what. But what the hell with this feeling?

I am sick of it. I tried so hard to get rid of it. Feeling guilty, jealous and have all those negative feelings. Better for me to be plain-shy-nerdy geek or acting like crazy-sarcastic-heartless bitch. Both different character but at least I have a path to go.

If I choose to be plain-shy-nerdy geek – whatever they said, whatever happening. I will just shut my mouth and let it the thing goes by without any statement or I won’t defense myself. And surely I’ll cut my social time so I won’t easily get contacted by those people that really makes me feel this way. Just imagine ugly Betty in me.

But if I choose to be crazy-sarcastic-heartless bitch – why bitch? If I’m being that way surely they would called me bitch. HAHA. And I will said, whatever loser! You’re not at my place. This will be a vice versa from the geek. I will defense myself with my sarcastic words. Well, i won’t take those things seriously. Let assuming me as Regina George from Mean Girls movie.

Both are a different character. But it is a way for me to defense myself. Defending from being fool again by all these feeling.

5 comments:

Zarpeno said...

adeh mcm kechiwa ja ayat last..hehhe

Diana said...

hahaha..
macam eh?
yana ni same je ngan adi.
kekdg mcm emo sikit.
huahuahua..

;p

Maria said...

hey, jgn susah hati sgt k..
all negative charged ions will go to u when u let it, so u kena neutral kan by being positive.
be around things or ppl dat gives u dat feeling. maybe u should watch Yes Man. hehe!
hang in there k yana..
talk it out.
makes u feel better
=)

the girl said...

yana yana yana! please do take care of urself. i saaaayannggg u gila! namo sedey sedey yea?

the girl said...

yana yana yana! please do take care of urself. i saaaayannggg u gila! namo sedey sedey yea?